How I got rid of the pacifier

I think many people have a stigma placed around the use of a pacifier or as we call them here in Africa, ‘dummies’. Some reasons behind it that I have heard of are, it can create nipple confusion for baby if on the breast, it can slow the speech down and also make the teeth grow skew.

I personally had the dummy for all three kids who are now 9, 7 and nearly 3 years old. All had no nipple confusion, spoke when they were ready to speak and there teeth are fine! And let me tell you having the dummy was a lifesaver of note when you have a little baby that needs settling in an instant or just to get a decent nights sleep with a niggly newborn when your tired. I do not regret the decision to have given all three kids the dummy.

Remember this is a personal choice for everyone.

So on this post I wanted to share how we transitioned off the dummies for the kids and maybe share some tips for people looking to do the same.

So how did we start and how did it go?

I am not a firm believer in taking baby steps with this. I think as a mom you know when the right time is for your baby/toddler to now stop the dummy. There is no right age neither is there the right solution for every child. My view is when they are ready to start the transition phase off the dummy, they seem to have a sense of understanding, independence and have started to not need the dummy most of the day. It becomes more a habit than what is needed I’d say. I stopped all the kids at around 2 and a half I would say, and I went ‘cold turkey‘.

For me this was going to be the quickest way to stop the habit and yes I think the most challenging in a sense because you will have to throw all the extra’s and spare’s the one you been hiding in your cupboard for an emergency, you can’t go to the store to buy a new one. It will be tears, tantrums, cuddling and constant asking. The emergency is never coming. THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOW FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS! God speed! lol

So have your reason ready to why there is no more dummy (I told my first two kids the dogs ate them and the last one that it got lost). We walked around and looked for them but we just could not find any. You definitely need a reason and stick to it.

After a few days they did forget about it. And this is what surprised me after every try with all the kids is that with this technique, the kids quickly forgot about it because there minds became occupied with other things like playing, eating, watching tv, going for drives etc..

The nights were a bit of a struggle. I wont lie. But the kids got very tired from a full day of play and trying to resist sleep most of the day because they missed the feeling of the dummy, but eventually they fell asleep without it on their own. Days passed I wouldn’t say more than a week, and the dummy was a thing of the past. Hard work paid off with the niggling kids, tears and sleepless nights but you will make it through no matter what process you take.

Saadiyah xx

This was my way of doing it, I am not telling anyone to follow my steps but I wanted to share my journey and experience with this topic. If you have a tip or trick please comment on my IG page under this post and share it with other moms.

Terrible twos – My toddler

So welcome back. I feel like I needed to write on this topic because with my first two kids I never experienced this stage! So here I am opening up on the struggle i have been going through for the past few months of late since lockdown and Covid has started.

Terrible twos, what are they?

Well from what I have read on its basically a normal (I laugh when I read normal because I feel like its the craziest and most patience testing time I have had to endure in all the years with all my kids combined, normal yeah right, abnormal for me lol) developmental phase experienced by young children that comes along with tantrums, excessive whining and crying, defiant behavior, and lots of frustration. It begins anywhere from 18 months to 3 years old and, despite what the name implies, can last well into the third year of life. ( Please send help lol!)

So in the times we are living in it seems a whole lot harder to be able to deal with this better. When i’m cooped up the whole day in the house attempting to keep everyone happy and tummies fed, school work up to date and work up to date and all I really want is 5 min alone. To either cook, exercise, shower or at the least have a cup of tea. I find it harder day by day because there is no real way out of it these “terrible two’s” (agree or disagree?) because we as adults are frustrated during this pandemic so I can only imagine what my little guy is also going through, so the tantrums and frustrations are higher too for him. There is no more car rides to pick up the siblings from school, walking in the shops buying sweeties or even going out to a park for a afternoon of fresh air and new experiences.

I do although find myself very lucky to have my two big kids who have found their independence and gosh they are my little life savers at the worst of my day, they step up and can entertain their younger brother up until a certain extent till he becomes frustrated and cries and cries and whines about these small things. They even ask me, “Mummy why does he cry for nothing?”, oh darlings if only I knew. We all know when he doesn’t get what he wants we all better run for cover and cover our ears lol. I also on the other hand blessed to be able to have a wonderful lady who works for me who cares as much for my kids as for me too. She swoops in when she sees I am over whelmed, lets me sleep in for an extra hour, helps me cook when I am out working and her personality is so much like a mother that I feel like even though my mom is not around in the country she is really someone who I can rely on to look out for me, my kids and my home, and I really couldn’t ask for anything more.

So yes the trial of this age with my smally has brought me some good though, through the frustrations and irritating moments that are quite a lot currently. It has actually made me a lot more patient, and I surprise myself as I actually became more patient than I thought I could have, weird because I realized the more I got my emotions built up the more I tended to push myself away from my kids when they really needed me. When he starts up, I just got to breath and breath in deep within my soul shoo, and I just remind myself that he is trying his best also to express his feelings, or spend his energy when he doesn’t know quite what to do with it yet. We have good days and bad but yes he is my special guy, and he does drive me crazy but suppose this crazy will be the normal crazy for the rest of the year, hopefully if anything God will bless us to get to some kind of normality back soon or maybe we have this time to reflect and change what we actually thought was real life but in fact was a world we were all lost in walking with blinders but now are finally getting to see the world for its true beauty, appreciate family and friends and have better interactions with people in general.

If you have any tips or tricks that worked for you, please comment below.

Peace and love.

Things I do when my kids are asleep

Lets face it. Sometimes we all wish that time would come quicker than it normally does. Ecspecially after a long day of crying, nagging, cleaning, cleaning and more cleaning, lol. When our kids are asleep its like a little bit of freedom just do a few things for us. Here are some things I do when my kids are asleep:

Eat the chocolate & sweets

Most times they blame me, but what they don’t know won’t hurt them! I just blame their dad, when empty wrappers are found lying around😊

Throw away pointless toys

I have a bad habit of throwing out small, frustrating toys that pile up from the freaking sky! But it helps also keep the clutter out. Yay!

Have a relaxing bath

This is my only alone time when there is no one crying for me or asking me to play a game. Thou shalt not enter!

Be the tooth fairy

This will carry on as long as it can, my eldest is turning 8 and I love the thought that my kids’ imaginations can continue to flourish through this little white lie 😉

Delete the 101 tv show recordings

Many times, my playlist is full of Mr. Bean and Peppa Pig recordings. Then woops my finger just hits the delete button😉 Trust me they are not missed even by the kids. Plus, I need more space for EastEnders and Vikings recordings lol.

Spend time with my husband

Time is cherished when there are little ones running around but i have to make it a point to spend that quality time with my hubby. After all he was there before the kids!

Check on them before I sleep

Although they don’t realize the other things I do, this is the most important thing that I do hope they remember and love as they grow up. Fixing their blankets, kissing their foreheads and telling them I love them.

A letter to my kids

To my amazing kids

The time is near. Where I will have to go back into the world of work.

I will get up earlier than usual, just to stand by the doors of your rooms to watch over you for those extra five minutes to help my heart settle.

All I want to do is snuggle with you and make sure you know the real reason why I am leaving you.

On my way out, I take a deep breath and walk out the door.

Leaving you every day is the hardest part of my life.

Many hard decisions must be made by mums and it also proves that they have one of the hardest jobs in the world.

When you grow a little older, I hope you will see the sacrifices I had to make for you to get you where you are, and its only because I love you. I am trying to teach you that hard work and commitment will always get you to where you want to be.

Whether you choose dance, maths, art, or charitable work. I only pray you find work that you love and do it with all of your heart. Break the stereotypes of the world and become the best you, that mum has taught you to be,unapologetic and courageous.

Life makes you strong, you will learn what it takes to be strong. At your first day of school, when mummy asks you to go with the teacher, you will be scared and mummy will be scared to but I will wait for you outside the door at the first sign of the school bell, to hold you and tell you how proud I am of you.

Mummy will always be there.

I hate to leave you every day but until the day comes when you tell me I can step back (even though I will be there at the blink of an eye when you need me.

I will always love you now and forever.

Two is a breeze, but what about three?

They tend to say two is the perfect recipe when you are a parents. Why?

Well the recipe goes two parents, two laps, 2 sets of helping hands to two little busy bodies. I agree, when i had two it felt like it was just perfect.

This is until i had three…

Don’t get scared, i was just testing you! To me having three was just the same as having two. As your already juggling the demands and needs of one kid anyway. Once your third one comes its like a walk in the park, except your bags and car are fuller. (Laughs)

There are some amazing things that did happen though when I did get my third:
The older kids became independent.

Its not a bad thing. At times it might just be you and three of them, so teach them to start finding their Independence. There are only so many hands that can go around. Try making it a game, big brother/sister needs your help, will you please get mummy a nappy or the wipes? You will be surprised how quickly they learn they are able to do a lot on their own. Make sure you praise their efforts 🙂

You are never lonely

When your feeling bored, nothing to do. You have in house friends who just love your attention. Why not take advantage of that and have a Pyjama day or a movie date with the littlest people who love you the most. Best of all you don’t even have to dress up!

Being in control, and not loosing control.

You will loose control of every situation you have. Nothing will ever go as planned no matter how much you try to plan. This is great! You must think, is she mad? No i have a good reasoning behind it. Because it teaches you to break your own expectations and never be let down. Life is and never can be planned to the tee. So do not expect your life with kids to be planned either. Flaws and challenges is what makes life beautiful so embrace it!

I do not regret having three. It gives me something new to wake up to everyday, a new joke from my son, a little dance and song from my daughter, new words and expressions from my toddler and the best cuddles and hugs i could ask for every single day.

Here’s to my family of five!